So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
