i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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