My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize