Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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