One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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