she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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