At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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