Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Randomize
