Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
