I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
