apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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