I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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