Pappa wants mamma naked
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
