opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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