I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
