I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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