We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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