speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I am mentally ready for anal.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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