I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
