2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
