I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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