did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
