worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
last night I used snow as a chaser
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
