do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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