we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
