Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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