i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
