I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
