Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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