You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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