You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I stole a fireplace last night.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize