I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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