So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
