its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
