oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
