So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
