Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
