i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
