If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
