Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
