i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
