You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
