Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize