so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
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