I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
she told me i tasted like america
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
