We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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