would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
