i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
