There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
is it fun? or sober?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
