Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
