She said her name was "party"
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Still dying that you shit outside
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
