Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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