I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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