it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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