can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
