My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So here I am, sexting at work.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
