no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
