it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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