We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
