farters have to be the big spoon...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize