He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize