Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
