dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
