When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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