I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
