I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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